Terrier Toy Testing Institute (T3i)

Most dog toys don't survive long in my house. Because I'm a bit of a science nerd, I decided to track this by founding the Terrier Toy Testing Institute or T3i. Every toy is assigned a numerical ranking from 1 to 10. Toys rated a 1 usually don't even last 60 seconds before they are dismembered, disaggregated, desqueaked, and disemboweled. We've even had negative ratings for some toys. Toys rated a 10 may become slightly disabled in a few minutes but generally survive in some recognizable form.

The toy that got me started on this was a gift from my friend Denise, who also has smooth fox terriers and should have known better (joking, DL!). For Christmas one year, she sent the dogs a rope reindeer: he had a small stuffed head with felt antlers, a rope going from the head into a small round stuffed brown plush body, and ropes forming the four legs. It took Harry and Iz less than 30 seconds to pull the head off, pull the stuffing out of the head and body, and chew the felt feet off the ends of the rope legs, which were of course now separate from the rest of it. That reindeer defined a ranking of 1.

As you might guess from the picture below, toys rated 4 and below nonetheless provide quite a bit of pleasure for the dogs, even if it is transitory.


Here's another example. This was a small soft piggy toy (another gift from DL!). It had a plastic disc in it which made oinking noises when it was gently squeezed. Gently squeezed. Harry and Mimi cracked the disc and it was barely squawking in just two play sessions (I removed the disc). They would play fetch with piggy until it was sodden with dog spit. I'd put it on the counter to dry out for a day or two, then put it back into the fray. They've had the toy for a month, but on a whim two nights ago, Harry chewed off both ears and all four feet (the tail had long been pulled off). Deciding that wasn't quite enough damage, he trepanned it and pulled the stuffing out of the top of its head. Piggy, rated a solid 6, and all of his associated parts are now in the trash.


Here is a picture of three of the puppies playing with the sixtopus, who was already a couple of years old in 2005. He had long ago been gutted, blinded in one eye, and had two tentacles removed. Tentacles don't hold up to terrier tug games. Fortunately, tentacles then become toys in their own right, doubling and tripling the fun. Despite the damage, sixtopus pentopus is still with us years after acquisition, and is rated an 8.


Despite their relative fragility, which should result in a ranking of 5 or less, certain toys become beloved favorites of one or more of the dogs. Harry is particularly fond of ducky baby. Ducky baby usually loses his head tuft and bill within a few days to a week, then is slowly but methodically destuffed over the next few weeks. But for months afterwards, if you tell Harry to get his ducky, he will frantically search the house until he finds the grayish-yellow rag that is ducky. I replace ducky every couple of years but he gets rated an 8 as well.


So what toys get rated a 10? Rope and fleece tug toys, of course. And those exceptionally annoying double-squeaking Cuz toys (the Devil Cuz is shown below; Gracie removed his horns and feet). RuffWear also made tug toys once upon a time (they still make plenty of other cool stuff). Their tugs were among Iz's favorites.


Postscript: We were on the west side of Hurricane Ike. It only rained about 2/3" in about 3 hours yesterday between noon and three. Hardly any wind. Stunningly beautiful today with a blue sky and light breeze. My thoughts are with my many friends in Houston.