Last week, my new supervisor (I moved to a different group within the company in December) invited me and my office mate to his home this past Thursday (our weekend) for lunch. It’s a big deal for a Saudi to invite westerners to his home, even more so since I am a woman. I had a fairly good idea of what to expect although I am pretty sure my office mate didn’t!
MS has a traditional “villa” located not far from Dhahran. Completely surrounded by 10-foot-high walls, there are separate entrances for men and women, and in fact the women’s part of the house is completely isolated from the men’s part with only a single connecting door near the kitchen (so the female servants can serve food at the men’s parties). I was invited into the women’s part of the house and visited with his wife and two daughters for about 15 minutes. They served me dates and unsweetened Arabic coffee mixed with ground cardamom, a traditional Arabic social custom. The coffee is served in tiny cups without handles. It can range in color from a clear orange to a cloudy yellow. It is an acquired taste for sure—sometimes you’d swear it was nothing but cardamom tea. The dates that are usually served with Arabic coffee are the dry ones, although I prefer the sweeter, sticky ones.
I think I’ve mentioned this before but am too lazy to look up at the moment: you can’t assume a Saudi is westernized just because he wears western clothing and seems to be relatively tolerant of us. Our supervisor, MS, wears office casual clothing to work every day, including the frequent appearance of a natty, black, loose silk jacket, yet he maintains a very traditional household such that his wife and daughters aren’t even permitted to mingle with other males in his own family, much less my office mate. The women would of course not join us for lunch.
MS takes his Bedouin roots quite seriously. He built a modern, city version of a bedu tent within his villa compound. I’ve seen them before at fancy restaurants and at a few places around Aramco where they are used to entertain visiting bigwigs. The building has solid walls and the fancy ones have windows. They always have AC units. The walls and ceiling inside are draped with cloth to make it look like you are inside a tent although there is usually a solid roof on top of the building. Inside, the walls will be lined with long cushions and backrests on the floor with an occasional armrest scattered here and there. Shoes are always removed before entering. It is considered rude to cross your legs (I can’t do it in an abaya anyway; I had to wear the hated thing for the entire lunch). Most westerners don’t spend much time sitting on the floor as adults and we struggle with the sitting down and getting up routines that are required by these cushions on the floor.
MS also invited a couple of other Saudis who live near him who work at Aramco (it would have been too weird for it to be just me, WC, and MS) and one brought his son. The three older men wore thobes. The son was in western clothes.
After more obligatory Arabic coffee and dates, it was time for lunch. Even though MS didn’t tell us in advance, I knew what was coming: kabsa.
Kabsa is essentially a meat and rice dish. It can be made in amazingly enormous quantities and is considered a Saudi national dish. The rice is usually basmati, cooked until it is slightly sticky. The meat is where things get interesting. Kabsa is traditionally served with lamb or goat but camel is also common. Non-traditionalists will substitute beef or chicken. The meat is butchered into very large pieces (it is not deboned) and cooked with the rice and an incredible array of spices. The animal can also be partially cooked whole then cut up and added to the rice later. (You can find a westernized version of a kabsa recipe here.)
Kabsa is served on large trays with the meat laid on top of or mixed in with the rice; sometimes the edge of the platter is decorated with fresh veggies such as tomato and cucumber. You sit on the floor around the trays and eat kabsa with your fingers. The technique of balling up some rice and meat and delivering it to your mouth without spilling it all over your lap on the way or without cramming your fingers in your mouth (considered rude) requires quite a bit of practice (a lot of practice). Just as when you dine with Chinese folks, the Saudis will offer you a spoon but are much pleased if you use your fingers (or chopsticks, as the case may be).
The meat can sometimes cause problems for westerners. Fat is not trimmed off and all of the animals are served, including their heads. I laughed when WC and I sat down with the son at one tray and the son pulled off the foil covering to reveal…a goat head staring up at us, white-grey tongue sticking out of its mouth. I wasn’t laughing at the goat but at WC. His eyes were popping out but not because he’d been steaming with rice for hours. Fortunately, we had other bits of the goat that were well worth eating (ribs and legs, for example).
In between picking out goat hairs from the rice and accepting pieces of rib and cheek meat from the son sitting with us (cheeks are always a choice bit) while deftly refusing tastes of brains and eyeballs, I rather enjoyed myself. When the son grabbed the head and ripped its jaw off to get at some of the meat, WC stopped eating any more meat and only nibbled at the rice. When the son told us his mother was a master at picking all the meat off the head, then grabbed the goat head and jammed two spoon handles into its eye sockets to demonstrate her technique for splitting the skull to get at the brains, I laughed again. WC simply stopped eating at that point.
Me? I’m an adventurous eater. The goat hair had been well cooked along with the rest of it, and I happen to like fatty meat. In fact, I’ve had kabsa served with mutton (instead of the preferred lamb) and it was downright nasty. So I thought the succulent little goat was delicious!
The meal was followed by more gossip and chatter (Saudi men love to gossip) and glass after glass of super hot, impossibly sweet black tea. We also had an eggy dessert topped with chopped pistachios. It was more salty than sweet but it went well with the tea.
I enjoyed the afternoon quite a bit. It is rare to spend time with Saudis in such a casual setting and I am pleased that MS invited us to such a grand feast.
MS has a traditional “villa” located not far from Dhahran. Completely surrounded by 10-foot-high walls, there are separate entrances for men and women, and in fact the women’s part of the house is completely isolated from the men’s part with only a single connecting door near the kitchen (so the female servants can serve food at the men’s parties). I was invited into the women’s part of the house and visited with his wife and two daughters for about 15 minutes. They served me dates and unsweetened Arabic coffee mixed with ground cardamom, a traditional Arabic social custom. The coffee is served in tiny cups without handles. It can range in color from a clear orange to a cloudy yellow. It is an acquired taste for sure—sometimes you’d swear it was nothing but cardamom tea. The dates that are usually served with Arabic coffee are the dry ones, although I prefer the sweeter, sticky ones.
 |
| Image from food.com. |
I think I’ve mentioned this before but am too lazy to look up at the moment: you can’t assume a Saudi is westernized just because he wears western clothing and seems to be relatively tolerant of us. Our supervisor, MS, wears office casual clothing to work every day, including the frequent appearance of a natty, black, loose silk jacket, yet he maintains a very traditional household such that his wife and daughters aren’t even permitted to mingle with other males in his own family, much less my office mate. The women would of course not join us for lunch.
MS takes his Bedouin roots quite seriously. He built a modern, city version of a bedu tent within his villa compound. I’ve seen them before at fancy restaurants and at a few places around Aramco where they are used to entertain visiting bigwigs. The building has solid walls and the fancy ones have windows. They always have AC units. The walls and ceiling inside are draped with cloth to make it look like you are inside a tent although there is usually a solid roof on top of the building. Inside, the walls will be lined with long cushions and backrests on the floor with an occasional armrest scattered here and there. Shoes are always removed before entering. It is considered rude to cross your legs (I can’t do it in an abaya anyway; I had to wear the hated thing for the entire lunch). Most westerners don’t spend much time sitting on the floor as adults and we struggle with the sitting down and getting up routines that are required by these cushions on the floor.
MS also invited a couple of other Saudis who live near him who work at Aramco (it would have been too weird for it to be just me, WC, and MS) and one brought his son. The three older men wore thobes. The son was in western clothes.
After more obligatory Arabic coffee and dates, it was time for lunch. Even though MS didn’t tell us in advance, I knew what was coming: kabsa.
Kabsa is essentially a meat and rice dish. It can be made in amazingly enormous quantities and is considered a Saudi national dish. The rice is usually basmati, cooked until it is slightly sticky. The meat is where things get interesting. Kabsa is traditionally served with lamb or goat but camel is also common. Non-traditionalists will substitute beef or chicken. The meat is butchered into very large pieces (it is not deboned) and cooked with the rice and an incredible array of spices. The animal can also be partially cooked whole then cut up and added to the rice later. (You can find a westernized version of a kabsa recipe here.)
 |
| A tray of kabsa. This is almost certainly a sheep; it's too big to be a goat. Note the head on the left side of the platter. I ripped the picture from high-10.blogspot.com but the original source is unknown. |
Kabsa is served on large trays with the meat laid on top of or mixed in with the rice; sometimes the edge of the platter is decorated with fresh veggies such as tomato and cucumber. You sit on the floor around the trays and eat kabsa with your fingers. The technique of balling up some rice and meat and delivering it to your mouth without spilling it all over your lap on the way or without cramming your fingers in your mouth (considered rude) requires quite a bit of practice (a lot of practice). Just as when you dine with Chinese folks, the Saudis will offer you a spoon but are much pleased if you use your fingers (or chopsticks, as the case may be).
The meat can sometimes cause problems for westerners. Fat is not trimmed off and all of the animals are served, including their heads. I laughed when WC and I sat down with the son at one tray and the son pulled off the foil covering to reveal…a goat head staring up at us, white-grey tongue sticking out of its mouth. I wasn’t laughing at the goat but at WC. His eyes were popping out but not because he’d been steaming with rice for hours. Fortunately, we had other bits of the goat that were well worth eating (ribs and legs, for example).
 |
| There's another head on this platter too. Kabsa is eaten with the hands. No, let me correct that. It is eaten with the RIGHT hand. Never use your left hand while eating with Muslims if you can avoid it. I ripped this photo off tripadvisor.com. |
In between picking out goat hairs from the rice and accepting pieces of rib and cheek meat from the son sitting with us (cheeks are always a choice bit) while deftly refusing tastes of brains and eyeballs, I rather enjoyed myself. When the son grabbed the head and ripped its jaw off to get at some of the meat, WC stopped eating any more meat and only nibbled at the rice. When the son told us his mother was a master at picking all the meat off the head, then grabbed the goat head and jammed two spoon handles into its eye sockets to demonstrate her technique for splitting the skull to get at the brains, I laughed again. WC simply stopped eating at that point.
Me? I’m an adventurous eater. The goat hair had been well cooked along with the rest of it, and I happen to like fatty meat. In fact, I’ve had kabsa served with mutton (instead of the preferred lamb) and it was downright nasty. So I thought the succulent little goat was delicious!
The meal was followed by more gossip and chatter (Saudi men love to gossip) and glass after glass of super hot, impossibly sweet black tea. We also had an eggy dessert topped with chopped pistachios. It was more salty than sweet but it went well with the tea.
I enjoyed the afternoon quite a bit. It is rare to spend time with Saudis in such a casual setting and I am pleased that MS invited us to such a grand feast.
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