Thursday, January 03, 2013

Changes

When I first came to Saudi Arabia back in October 2009, I didn’t have many other options. Saudi Aramco was the only job offer I had in hand at the time. I knew that I was going to lose my house to foreclosure in a few months (it was in fact sold at auction in January 2010). I had already sold most everything I could to keep the animals fed and to keep my internet paid up so I could look for a job. I was running up bigger and bigger credit card debts to pay the bills.

When I asked two good friends for advice, which I desperately needed at the time to sort out this monumental decision to leave home and family and friends, they told me that I probably had to take the Aramco job if for no other reason than I otherwise wouldn’t know what opportunities it might lead to, that an opportunity like this might not come around again.

Being here has challenged me, rewarded me, frustrated me, but it has never disappointed me. I discovered that once you become an expat, willingly leaving home and country, your perspectives may shift alarmingly but as long as you keep your eyes and ears and mind open, you will survive and may even learn something useful.
Even before I left, I decided that I needed to identify some decisions points when I would evaluate my situation in Saudi Arabia. I figured that one of those points should be at five years and the second should then be at ten years.

Although I gave it an honest try, I didn't quite make to five years. I’ve now been in Saudi Arabia for just over three years and I have decided to return to the U.S. in March 2013, a bit before my 50th birthday in April.

My decision isn't based on the fact that I am a outsider in this culture. I had done quite a bit of international travel prior to moving to Saudi Arabia, far more in fact than most Americans. Being different isn't a problem as I've never really fit in no matter where I am (there are exceptions; DogzRule!, I'm looking at you). And on my arrival here, I think that I managed to avoid the worst aspects of culture shock, inevitable when you make this kind of move. I threw myself into activities in and around the community and some of those, like the dog obedience and agility classes, have helped keep me sane. I’ve made some good dog friends who I will miss very much. But there are simply too many negative aspects to life and work here that I can't ignore, replace, or overcome.

You might have noticed that I never talk about my work for Aramco. This is deliberate and will continue. The work itself, the actual projects that I undertook and my regular responsibilities, has been challenging and sometimes even fun. I worked with a large number of people across the upstream part of the company. Some of them have become valued colleagues, mentors, and friends. Most of them are an impediment both to me and the company.

This company is so poorly managed that I cannot continue to work for it. Not even the money is enough to lure me to stay, and I’ll be frank, I’m making a lot of money. Leaving now is another deliberate choice related to that money. I’m leaving before the golden handcuffs are snapped on and it becomes economically impossible for me to leave. I look around and see too many unhappy expats who are in that position, who stay because they can’t afford to leave, who daily try to convince themselves that this is somehow a better life or that if they stick it out just six more months or one more year that things will be better later. I am not willing to sell myself and my future like that.

I’m also leaving because of the other 2/3s of my life here, all of the hours that I don’t spend at work. Housing is one of the biggest problems and I will go into that once I actually leave Aramco. But if you read my blog regularly then you know that I have issues with a number of aspects of life in the Magic Kingdom. 

In short, I don’t like living in a prison. Some parts of this prison are literal: we live behind walls, electrified fences, armed guards. Some parts of this prison are cultural: Saudi Arabia is of course free to demand that people residing in this country behave in a certain manner but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. In fact I am finding it all particularly wearing.

My friends were right, though. Working for Saudi Aramco did open up some interesting new opportunities for me. I don’t want to get into my future plans just yet. I'll probably spend the next couple of months of blog posts describing the unnecessarily complicated process of extraction from this country. Discussion of the future will come around in its own time.

But I will tell you that when I return, I’m bringing all five animals with me.

4 comments:

Anne said...

Wow! Such big news! Can't wait to hear all the exciting details.

March is just around the corner. So great that you'll be able to celebrate such a big birthday back in the states!

Congratulations!

payingattention said...

We've been waiting to learn more! I have meant to send an email and will soon. Will stay tuned!

lilspotteddog said...

I can't say too much here now because I haven't made the official announcement at work yet.

Alissa said...

Looking forward to seeing you again and meeting Asa, if you're coming back to TX. Here's to everything going smoothly with the transition back to the US!