There are things, small things in the scheme of things, that simply drive me mad.
When someone at Aramco retires with a really high grade code, Aramco springs for a group luncheon and a departing gift. But when someone retires and their grade code puts them down amongst the ranks of the worker bees, the home department is expected to spring for all of that, including the "masalamah" or departing gift. In the past couple of weeks, I've been nearly bludgeoned by one of our secretaries asking me to contribute to the masalamah gifts for two people who are leaving, two people with whom I never worked directly, two people whom I really don't even know.
I hate the sort of faux-community attitude that underlies those sorts of events. I hate the implied camaraderie. I detest the peer pressure, the assumption that I would go along with this just because I happen to be in the same department.
If that were not annoying enough, this week, I received two emails, sent only to the women in our department, asking me to contribute to the purchase of flowers for two women who were having birthdays.
What is wrong with that, you ask? Why send an email to only the women? Wouldn't some of the men who are friends with those two women want to contribute? That smacks of sexism, yes, sexism from the women, and to be honest, I've slaved for far too long in this industry to put up with that sort of behavior from anybody. Over the years, I've dealt with comments, improper touching, and other much more overt episodes of sexual harassment from male coworkers. I refuse to participate in the very same sort of thing just because it's being arranged by the women.
But here's what really chaps my ass about the flower emails. They didn't buy me flowers for my birthday, nor in fact did anyone, including secretaries who have access to personnel records that would list my birth date, offer me good wishes that day or even that week.
Ah, you say, perhaps if I weren't such a curmudgeon, I'd get flowers at work too? Perhaps, but I reject the very notion in the first place. I work to get a job done, not to run around like a puppy seeking approval and pets from everyone.
That's quite a cynical read on the situation, and you can rightly accuse me of tasting some sour grapes, but why should those two women get flowers and all of the other people in our department get nothing? Do those two women run the show? Are their jobs so mission-critical that tasks become bottle-necked waiting for action from them? Do we sit in meetings with bated breath for their next amazing pronouncements? The answer to all of these is no.
Then again, to receive flowers, is it necessary for someone to be that important? Again, the answer is no.
My larger point is that I am not willing to accept that it is okay to single out anyone to receive these sorts of things, particularly via the method of an email asking one to "donate to the fund."
It is all based on false community. Real pressure to participate in something artificial and awkward.
I'm not buying into any of it.
When someone at Aramco retires with a really high grade code, Aramco springs for a group luncheon and a departing gift. But when someone retires and their grade code puts them down amongst the ranks of the worker bees, the home department is expected to spring for all of that, including the "masalamah" or departing gift. In the past couple of weeks, I've been nearly bludgeoned by one of our secretaries asking me to contribute to the masalamah gifts for two people who are leaving, two people with whom I never worked directly, two people whom I really don't even know.
I hate the sort of faux-community attitude that underlies those sorts of events. I hate the implied camaraderie. I detest the peer pressure, the assumption that I would go along with this just because I happen to be in the same department.
If that were not annoying enough, this week, I received two emails, sent only to the women in our department, asking me to contribute to the purchase of flowers for two women who were having birthdays.
What is wrong with that, you ask? Why send an email to only the women? Wouldn't some of the men who are friends with those two women want to contribute? That smacks of sexism, yes, sexism from the women, and to be honest, I've slaved for far too long in this industry to put up with that sort of behavior from anybody. Over the years, I've dealt with comments, improper touching, and other much more overt episodes of sexual harassment from male coworkers. I refuse to participate in the very same sort of thing just because it's being arranged by the women.
But here's what really chaps my ass about the flower emails. They didn't buy me flowers for my birthday, nor in fact did anyone, including secretaries who have access to personnel records that would list my birth date, offer me good wishes that day or even that week.
Ah, you say, perhaps if I weren't such a curmudgeon, I'd get flowers at work too? Perhaps, but I reject the very notion in the first place. I work to get a job done, not to run around like a puppy seeking approval and pets from everyone.
That's quite a cynical read on the situation, and you can rightly accuse me of tasting some sour grapes, but why should those two women get flowers and all of the other people in our department get nothing? Do those two women run the show? Are their jobs so mission-critical that tasks become bottle-necked waiting for action from them? Do we sit in meetings with bated breath for their next amazing pronouncements? The answer to all of these is no.
Then again, to receive flowers, is it necessary for someone to be that important? Again, the answer is no.
My larger point is that I am not willing to accept that it is okay to single out anyone to receive these sorts of things, particularly via the method of an email asking one to "donate to the fund."
It is all based on false community. Real pressure to participate in something artificial and awkward.
I'm not buying into any of it.
4 comments:
"Someone's got a case of the Mondays!" ;)
I agree with you 100%! An office social structure is the most artificial entity ever invented by the human mind.
@payingattention: Remember that Monday is the middle of the work week for us! I've been stewing about this for days.
I encountered this crap during my last BigOil job. The envelope was passed around at every birthday, marriage, departure, death. I seldom donated b/c there are homeless animals that need my donations more than some highly paid data management hack. What I now encounter here, as I wait patiently for my work permit, are the birthday lunches, etc. I've experienced. I don't do presents which makes me a non-starter in the wife community.
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