Sophie's Choice

It's really hot outside now so I thought I would post this picture of Harry and Iz enjoying the snow in Salt Lake City, circa 1999, Iz's first winter. I've been in Austin for several days--drought and 100+ temps wilt everything, including people. Thank goodness it's not quite as dry up here in DFW though it is still pretty darned hot.

I posted last night about the dogs acting out while we were in Austin. Now that they are back at home in their own space, I have heard hardly a peep from any of them. They all got a bath this afternoon, spent some time drying off in the backyard, and now they are draped all over the house in a state of post-dining, post-travel exhaustion.

The anniversary of Iz's death is coming up in a few weeks (August 1) and I've been thinking of her more often than usual. Her last two months were a painful struggle so I'm trying instead to remember all of the wonderful things that we did together. The many years that she and I did animal-assisted therapy volunteer work resulted in lots of good memories. She was so amazing in that role.

While thinking of Iz, I've also been thinking about losing my other pets.

I was recently faced with an interview for a job that would have required me to leave behind all but two of my animals. I have not received an offer, and now don't expect one from this particular company. But the struggle required to choose which animals I could not take was horrible. It was like asking me to cut off an arm or a leg--which ones would I abandon? Imagining my cats in a crate at a PetSmart adoption day is as bad as any nightmare I've had. Could I choose between Mimi and Gracie? How could I ask someone else to take on Jack with his many neuroses and anxieties? I think that my own anxiety about this resulted in a relatively poor interview--unconscious sabotage--but how many of you could easily make that choice?