Thursday, September 04, 2008

Sleeping With Dogs


I can't remember sleeping alone. Or peeing alone, for that matter, but that's a story for another day. There's been a small cast of human partners sharing the bed stage now and then, but for the most part I've been sleeping with dogs for the past ten years.

Iz always slept with her head on the pillow next to mine. I have terrible insomnia, sleep lightly when I do sleep, and wake frequently. It was always a comfort to open my eyes, turn my head, and see her head next to mine. I could feel her warm body stretched out next to me, and I could smell that special dusty smell on the top of her head that was her smell. But as she became sicker, she needed to pull away and find her own space on the bed at night. I started missing my Iz sleeping next to me long before she actually left us.



Dyna has taken over that prime sleeping spot now. She moves around a lot at night but some part of her is always tucked into the space next to my pillow.

Harry has always slept on the bed with me (except for a few months when he was banished to a crate after he broke Lola's jaw at 3am--yet another story for another time). He continues to mourn the absence of his sister, and ever since Iz died, he has been glued to my side at night. No matter how much I toss and turn, Harry is velcroed to me like a burr. It is a comfort to be able to put my hand out and hug him to me, knowing that he understands, that he doesn't mind my waking him up for just a moment to make sure he is still there, still warm, still right beside me.

I've been crating the puppies from the beginning. Jack's daughters were just too wild to have on the bed at night. And after a while, it seemed reasonable to reduce the dog load and crate Jack at night too. He doesn't mind, really, and has been a very good sport about it.

But now that Iz is gone, the dog load has been reduced too much. Harry and Dyna are always pressed up against me, but with Iz gone, it just hasn't been enough.

So I've been hauling the pups into bed at night, one at a time, just for a couple of hours each. (I call them pups even though they turned three on September 1.) Both seem to understand what I want--they snuggle in right next to me (on the opposite side of me from Harry, of course), throwing off those deep terrier sighs of contentment as they drop off to sleep. Neither moves a hair for as long as I let them stay next to me--I always have to pick them up off the bed, warm and relaxed with sleep, and ease them back into their crates.

I can't imagine ever sleeping alone again. I sleep with dogs.